i hate being sick. but i hate being lazy even more. the latter was just the after-effect of vomiting bucket-loads of water & whatever i ate. havent been eating since the chocolate waffle from tohtuck ytd. i just lost my appetite. so when im weak, i feel lazy to get things done. i fell aslp yesternight after having a dose of medication mom gave. then i din wake up til morning whn isk woke me. i slept like a log & my body ached like hell. the moment i openend my eyes, i ran to the toilet to puke. eeeeee. what a way to start my tuesday. so i decided to put skl aside to rest.

mom asked me to check my blood level again. i refused cos i feel fine. Besides, having poked 13times just to find my vein is pure torture. the needle isnt small like a pin or anything. yakult straw size please.
i checked my mail & i saw a mail from veron ((((:
thanks girl. it made me smile almost instantly. love you alot.

ignore the previous entry. i was fuming for nothing. argh i hate being temperamental with fluctuating moodswings. it beats being a girl. i did alot of reflecting today. cos my day didnt start so well :( in fact, it started horribly. cried in the shower like a loser & stroke my cat to sleep. i think she's the only one in the family i can depend emotionally. She's very sensitive to my feelings. she'll always snuggle up to me when im down & tried to cheer me up with her antics. i love her alot. Met my boyfriend to pour out everything. we did our own tuition work at marine parade & talked. i was feeling down the whole day. everything just din seem right. everything's in a mess. i dont get what i want, i just dont have it the way i wanted it to be :( that's life. & i realised i tend to binge when im down. i need to stop. its really making me fat. my abs are missing now! i got to get them back if not he'll keep on pinching & squeezing my fat tummy. time to whip up a diet plan. & time to be optimistic about life. cant really depend on people to cheer me up. blah. i feeel worse aft saying all these.

-fin

'days been fine (:

i hadta wake up frickin early to get ready for the Sahiba competition. bummer. i thought i was gna be late but NOOOOO i was too early. earlier than the reast (hidayah, syannaz, fad) at least. the competition came & left. made good company with the kiddos. i was one of the judge for the upper sec group. they're really "kecoh"! mine was the loudest group there. haha. ive got a partner as the judge too. he's from 1st 3 mths lah. he knows me but ive never seen him before.. hmmmm.

the rest of the day was spent with the girls & the boy seperately. the girls ACCIDENTALLY saw isk naked. eeeeeps. haha, that boy lah, we had a video call & he was lazing on his bed around shirt-less. haha. & according to fad, she knows that ure naked just by looking at your face. CHEEKOPEK RIGHT?! hahaa. love you girls.

met the boy to head to sim lim for him to go gaga over electrical thingamajiks. i dont know what makes him so attracted to that place. it's practically filled with potential hazardous items. think being electricuted. aiyo.

some overdued photos from yester-weeks.

keeping in touch with our childish nature.
my favourite swing (: been playing there since primary school
up up & away!!!
whooooooops.

things happen in a jiffy nowadays :(
i dont like to rush :(( i'll get all cranky & pissed with all the pressure. hmmmmmm.

1. nth much to update, im just bored. skipped Sahiba meeting due to alot of reasons. one main reason is that i wanna go swimming with isk. i know, i know. im being irresponsible. but he's been very down these few days & i havent been spending much time with him. intimately. like really give him a big bear hug to crush all his woes away. he's always the one comforting me, showering me with love & all that when im feeling down. so now its my turn to make him feel better.

2. results are out!
im very proud of myself for passing (: i finally got 2As 2Aos. Ive never really felt really accomplished. then again, this is only CT. so cant be too complacent. Mom had been praying for my success. Alhamdulillah.

3. The girls managed to sit down & really talk. its really okay to cry. its not a sign on vulnerability or what not. but maybe... just maybe.. ure in alot of problems. sigh. i hope im in any position to help. but i dont know how to. i'll drag isk to study with you & danial okay? tell me when ure free. if u nd someone to talk to, you can alws call me. my hp has free incoming now (: hmmmm, regarding what she wrote to you, i think its really true. She, being herself, of her own nature, is a very straightforward person. & what she said about true friends never lie to each other is true too. i want you to think it through okay. it's good that they're able to see through you today. see, its not that scary right? what's there to be scared of when you know ure not at fault? unless you know... you feel guilty. but that's not the point. well, you get my drift right girl?

4. i took the bus home with kanthan & gf. i was sleeping cos i felt really tardy in the humid weather. then suddenly, someone tapped my shoulders. i turned around only to see noone so i turned the other way round & then BOOOOOOO! i was shocked to my bones lah. i nearly peeed in my undies. stupid kanthan. go layan your gf & dont disturb my sleep lah. you know.. he walked all the way to the front of the bus just to scare me. so annoying right! thn he walked back to his gf & started laughing at me. GAH!

5. i hafta wake up frickin early tmr for the sahiba competition (scrabble-like competition) all the way in the west. urgh.

hokay, i miss playing paintball. was reading Mr Brown's & he played at Orchid Country club too! the last time i played was.... well.. let's say its a loong long time ago. i was practically screaming & not listening to instructions/callings at all & the rest of the boys just shot me down. it was really really painful okay. wah. covered in bruises & "burns". but worth it. its sucha nice game to play (: next time we'll gather friends & go okay bie?

finally got into the "cleaning" mood. cleared my table & put aside nonsensical stuffs. there were tonnes of magazines on my table as compared to the amount of tutorials! haha. so yeap. i didnt have plans for today but mike asked me out for dinner later :))

the CNY celebrations was a one clap for the FLs. didnt do a good job, i must say. Emcees were mumbling & talking to themselves & bleh. just horrible. It wasnt as lively as the ones in Bartley. I thought i was the only one who felt that way but i was surprised when a couple of them voiced out their feelings too. Yes, we do miss the Bartley days :(

i went back there last week & it saddens me to see no life in the school. it's really getting old... & lonely. There were dead leaves everywhere at the outdoor court & the library doors were open. Only that none of the Millennians were walking in or out :( I miss the cosy atmosphere.

peeling "orh-lenjers"

girls, girls & more girls!
orange-eyed (:

had a rather rough day today. i really shouldnt blame it on anyone because it was truly my fault for being abit snobbish & not being compromising to him. But i cant help but to feel pissed at the fricking hot weather! i was walking around blocks just to find a provision shop. how pathetic. i was really really feeling very uncomfy in the weather & i took everything you said negatively :( sorry baby. it's going to be our 2nd anniversary soon & i dont wanna let us suffer because of my sucky attitude. Like you said, we need to change or we wont be spending our future together :(

i wanna spend my future with you. i want you to be in my future. Its just that i need to live each day as it is & we're taking good tiny steps, Isk, & i cherish whatever you've done for me. every slightest gesture you show makes me smile. i feel very honoured to be your baby. & i treasure the things that we did/do. sometimes, simple chores like shopping for groceries & teaching you how to cook matters you know. Like how you used to tell me about History & all the Politics that bore me to death, but hey, you tried & tried & you didnt fail, did you? It's funny how we're living at the ends of the world, both in each other's oblivion & then , hey ho & behold, we're sharing our darkest, dirtiest secrets to each other. The funny 8-hour phonecalls we used to have & wake up so early just to meet to walk all the way to school. & i even hid you from my bestest girlfriend. I made everyone cry when they found out we're together. I made hearts shatter. I made Edwin angry. I made Aidah upset :( I used to regret after knowing alot of people still love me. But too bad. I love you more than I love them. In fact, i bore no feelings towards them at all. Eg. Shawn, Jack, WeiZhi. You stole all the limelight. It was you, you & you. & i used to be upset when you spelt your girlfriend's name wrongly. I was debating with myself, how could you?! cos by right, your name is SO MUCH LONGER than mine! RADIN TRI ISKANDAR BIN PAAT.
I'm only Juliza binte Jamel.
yet you spelt it was Julizah.
eww. You know, you know? It's the little little things that matters. I dont expect you to bring me to lavish restaurants or be my walking ATM & bring me on a shopping spree. i dont need that. As much as you think im more materialistic than you, to a certain extent, yes. but i dream more than i actually get things done. I never really force myself to get what i want. Because, i know, i couldnt afford it. So just look at it, feel it, & that's enough for me.

A lil something to end my "not-going-anywhere" post. Check out the sign. Now i know where those MCPs get those groceries from! MCP SUPERMARKET!

-fin.

i was thinking of signing up for a cupcake workshop that moma told me about this month & next.
(...) Cupcake Workshop I will be held on 24 February 2007 (Saturday), 25 February 2007 (Sunday), 10 March 2007 (Saturday), and 11 March 2007 (Sunday), while Cupcake Workshop II will be held on 24 March 2007 (Saturday) and 25 March 2007 (Sunday) (...)


it'll be held at Shermay's Cooking School. Yeyyy! oh anws, will be celebrating my lil sis's birthday this coming CNY.




tell me these cupcakes are not annoyingly adorable & yummy?! i'll box you.

so far result-wise was ooookay. but im really really anxious about my econs essays & also mgt :( i passed my Maths & GP tho but im abit disappointed with my GP grades :( stupid Rajeev got a bloody freaking A1 for GP. wah, can go & die already please.

ive been suffering from acute hearing loss these few days, which was very humorous. because im at a different frequency with others which made me look like nincompoop getting whatever i hear wrongly. which means, i'll definitely reply a totally different thing right?! omg. damn embarrassing okay. but i always laugh it off with my girlfriends, which is good. haha. today's "hearing loss" incident was really out of topic. happened just before maths started & everyone is streaming in from break.
hidayah: julie ade gule2? (julie got sweet?)
julie: huh i think fad is sitting here. (calls sabrina) sabrinaaa are you sitting there? yah, she's sitting there. so fad's sitting here.
hidayah: huh?
julie: huh, fad is sitting here lah. wait, what did you ask again?
hidayah looking very confused: got sweet?
both nearly died of laughter at my near-selengerness.

& i knew something was wrong with me from the very beginning of the day when i woke up. & i only realised what was wrong during maths. my bag was empty. as in, the stuffs i brought to school was totally IRRELEVENT. i didnt bring my mgt lecture notes & my maths tutorials. so i was just sitting there & trying as hard as possible not to get anything i hear wrongly; which was abit tough because i always end up talking to hidayah about everything in the world except for the lesson im sitting in. big oops.

the day ended abruptly for me. cos it just ended with siraj singing Smack That. lol. SIRAJ?!?! the last time he shocked me is when he was writing his mgt answers & he suddenly said, "orgasm is a pleasant feeling. i dont believe any guy who disagrees". goodness.

& i love going home with Daffi. he's my funny teddybear (: i cannot stop laughing at his senseless jokes & comments & him torturing hidayah with his "news report". haha. im developing cheek muscles ((:
"ohh kawan....... abeh biler nak kahwin? lepas tu, kahwon!" haha. nonsense.

the boy gave me an earliated Vday gift, supposedly for his "mother" & made me choose it for him. THANKS AH... but really, it was lovely! i know you know i love sunflowers ((((((:

the stupid crystal casing cracked & chipped; all thanks to Didi.

met isk to head for town for his club wear. went for lunch at cahaya & then window-shopped ard FEP for awhile before heading out to Prinsep St. Got his wear & i just got the suddenly urge to go Vivo. been some time since ive been there. went in & out for shops, tried clothes but i cannot decide what to get. i hate being fickle minded because i always ended up giving up in deciding what to buy. Topshop's new range of basics were kinda cute & "flarey". tried on a few colours & i really like one of them. gonna get it soon. will look for more tops from F21 next time. went for a quick "grocery" shopping with isk & thn bought a giganamous cream puff that we gobbled up greedily. HAHAH! creamy moustaches!

bumped into ROSMAINY BINTE BUANG at ptp bustop & we screamed like crazy ladies & hugged lah. what do you expect from us!? haha. her sisters are mad as well. met her mom & all the rest (: took the same bus with her home & we did some quick updates. whee! i missed you girl! we'll bump again into one another kay?

my adorable gay partner.

cheerleaders.

belive it or not, they're ALIVE. look so manequin-ish right.
bearddddd.


hokay, bye.

im so lazy to go out in the scorching sun. & im suppose to accompany my fat brother to the swimming complex. but im tooo lazy. but out of my laziness (even to blog mind you, i find myself abit tardy since morning), i managed to run some errands for myself:
1) brushed my cat. you should have seen how happy she was!
2) scrubbed my uniform & socks.
3) swept & cleared the bin in my room
4) sent my bed spread & comforter together with my comforter cover for washing
5) did the laundry with henna



here's some of the photoshoot photos. i edited them to make them look old, takde kejer lain.