ahh wells..
saturday mornings are rushy..
i was sweating since after my bath! something wrong with the weather. hmmm
rushed to meet booboo & went mcds to study
saw clara.
eck.
oke.. i cant seem to grasp the concept of mkt structures yet lah.
so slow..
booboo was very patient with me yey.
thanks (:
the humid weather is making me exceptionally sleepy omg.
went punggol end after that for a breeze.
but wrong location lah.
the sun was scorching & the clouds shifted not a single inch.
that hot.
i was perspiring non stop.
eck..
altho its a good weather to tan but im not in the mood to sunbake.
not now at least.
& the rain came down late today.
i was expecting it in the morning.
hee nevermind.
i got my sausages with mustard!!
yummmm (:

yesterday's rainbow is still vivid in my mind.
it's like full flank pls.
so beautiful
& the most marvelous thing is that it ended in our skl.
so the pot of gold is within our campus. haha.
oh wells.. baby is sick again :(
poor boy.
he slept in skl the whole day & i sent him home afterwards
but went out agn aft that.
went rivervale mall LJS & taught him maths..
suppose to meet ahgong after heats lah..
but postponed..
nevermind.. there's always a next time ait..






dad is forever getting on my nerves.
he's talking to me
& as i explain myself, he's so busy commenting abt the show he's watching
like wth la.
sigh.

doing my PI now while waiting for darls to end his SC meeting.
oh wells.
mr lee said ive got a brilliant idea (: beams.
oklah. fine.
i exaggerated ok.
he said my idea was superbly splendid & outrageously tremendously super duper GOOOD.
i'll send him by tonight for sure. im so worked up on it alr.
cant wait to hand it in & reduce the burden off my dreary shoulders.
oh gosh.
lotsa things happened.
but im like suffering from dementia.
i forgot what happened but i know they happened. but what?!
ahhhh hecks.
school's a drag.
esp on a thursday.
wednesday was fun fun.
suppose to have the course ytd but was postponed cos only 4 turned up.
i was the earliest.
hahaha.
surprising yah..
oh anyways, ive got my new ATM card. like so pretty pls.
i feel rich all of a sudden..
it looks so BLINGY.
its all signatured. pay, sign. pay, sign. yeys.



i hate cramps ):




& i feel like a loser.
wait, i AM one.
like, i signed up for things & i din get to any one of it lah.
shows how big of a loser i am.
internship was accepted. but SIGH. boring.
SC was rejected.
A divs not selected.
CIP trip not selected too.
i wanna go for it SO MUCH.
at least give me the opportunity to experience something different for once.
& ITS RARE THAT MY PARENTS ALLOW ME TO BE ENGAGED IN THIS KINDA THINGS.
& i manged to persuade them in letting me go.
i wanted to go for it THAT much.
but im not selected. how
i was so so so upset when Mr Lai announced to the whole school who is selected.
& he is one of them.
i was hoping that i would at least stand a chance too.
but no.
he's just too good. too perfect.
obviously the skl management wld choose him rather than me.
i feel useless.
just look at my results.
& his.
sigh.
i feel so inferior when im compared.
but that's life.
humans compare.
alas, Man's critic is only skin deep.
he's got the charisma, the brains, the people thing, the thing towards teachers & all those.
im just the total opposite.
now i knw how to be normal.
how to stay outta the limelight.
i just dont knw what to say.
just useless.
useless.
useless.





























useless.
on alighter note.
eh no.
its not light.
another member of our little family is leaving us.
our dear chef terence.
our "cher-cher-laughs-then-say-what-he-wanna-say" man.
sigh.
i'll really miss him.
he nearly cried junow. so touched.
it's a great loss to us.
cos noone to make lovely merringues & what-not.
argh.. im so sleepy already.

heh.
im on hiatus.
virtually. but literally, its almost IMPOSSIBLE for me to stay away from blogging (:
so sad.
anyways, ytd's fb trg was fun. INITIALLY.
but coach wanted some "specially selected" people to stay behind for some "extra special trg".
we did like 120++ pushups, crunches, squats, steps, dips & medicine-ball-up-&-behind-back.
its 120++ cos each stn we hadta do 20 reps. but coach kept on going "from zero!" or... "from 5!" or.. "from 10!" which is annoying.
& we cant grumble cos we simply cant afford to.
after doing 120++ for ONE SET, we hafta do as a whole fb family. pushups & crunches & squats.
IN UNISON.
which is torturous.
seriously.
pushups is oke.
done too much so im like too sore to feel any pain.
but squats was BEYOND EXCRUCIATING.
just imagine doing squats amounting up to 200+ within 2hours.
-dies & ressurects-
hahah lame.
thank God baby gave me a good massage(: felt so much better.
______________________________
today:
taught baby numerical methods.
...until this mentally disturbed woman came & sit beside me.
i mean at the next table lah.
nvm.
dont wanna talk abt that.
so we moved to the BEACH!!
did maths with our new CAT.
i named it SANDY.
damn adorable.
we played with it awhile & shared our prawn crackers with it (:
it's so "manja" lah.
i carried it up the bench & it went up the table instead to sleep.
SO BIG some more. cuteness.
sandy. sandy. sandy.
yey.

alot of things happened today lah.
baby didnt come :( so ive got noone to bully.
soooo spent so much times with the girls.
love them loads.
& i forgot whatever happened today.
anyways.
wont be blogging so frequently.
im on hiatus till i come back from Cambodia.
if i get thru the interview lah.
soooo..

GOODBYE.

i feel so fucked up lah.
everyone is pissing me off.
seriously.
i dont care about anyone anymore.
its about time for me to be selfish.


anyways. today's 19.
eat well k baby..
so worried for you.
all the best for friday (:
& Take The Lead wasnt that nice lah.
but a good movie to catch (:
my head's bursting & my brain juices had run clear.
HELP!

OMG.
i was fiddling with my wound on my finger & it came off!!!!!
SCREAMS!!
& it din hurt yey.
great.
now i have a hole on my finger.
all floorball's fault.
got whacked by the stick & i din realise i was bleeding until i saw the blood stains on my shirt.
but its ABIT only lah.
now i cant stop looking in the hole.
so gross.
it looks like an eye looking back at me.
better not stare anymore before i start digging the hole.
LOL.
damn gross.

this is our new classmate.
she's from Timbaktu.
Name agNERD is she.
Moau muang li tong sak.
LOL.
i swear i do not know what that phrase meant.

let's just face it, julie.
humans walk this earth parading their masquerade.
hidden behind is their deepest desires & truth.
you will never know who to trust.
& everyone have no choice but to stomach this fact
that you are the only one whom you can trust entirely.
cos to err is human.
& you make mistakes too
its inevitable that humans are bound to be selfish & stupid at times
so people wont trust you like you think they would.
let's just face it, julie.
this is a sad sad world.
________________________



oh crap. i just feel super shitty.
despite the endless hugs from agnes, rose, hidayah & the kisses to & from agnes darling.
i still feel shitty.
i dont know why.
sigh.
& im like re-installing SIMS2 again.
im very bored you see.
at least im not into addictive games like DOTA or whatever lan games.
-glares at hidayah-
tsk tsk tsk..


ps. whenever i look at hotdogs, i'll laugh to myself reminiscing that day when i came over to your house to cook pasta for you & family. damn funny please.

looks can be deceiving.
i feel horrible.

before i start my ramblings, lemmi introduce ahboy & ahgirl.
HAHA RANDOMNESS!!
there was a water fest right outside my house this morning.
the MPs were rowing dragon boats along the river.
so cute.
but i was too busy to catch the fest.
isk wanted to come down but he was afraid of daddy.
haha.
anws, it rained like shit again.
but the weather is superb to just snuggle in bed & sleep.
which i am doing right now.
its heavenly.
oh wells, i was in a STUDIOUS mood junow, i did most of my tutorials
& went to meet darls to discuss our tuts.
headed to novena to walk around aimlessly
in the end we had Ben & Jerry's
in the super cold weather.
must be mad right.
but it was really tempting
dublin mudslide & chocchip cookie dough.
i was craving for chocolate waffles tho...
hmmmm...
we visited Sam's Pet & Aquarium to ogle at adorable furry creatures.
then sat under the canopy outside it to savour our dessert
when the sky decided to have diarrhoea.
& isk decided to mimic me cos i was being annoying to him.
so i was doing all sorts of crazy stuff so he'll mimic me.
until i decided to take revenge by not sharing my umbrella with him.
& he got wet.
& he was a lil bit feverish.
i felt so bad.
cos he still sent me home & all.
:(
bad julie.
boooos.
ON A MUCH MORE BRIGHTER SIDE,
mommy made hot cocoa for me in my favourite EEYORE MUG.
oooohh love it.
& ive got more good news.

• my cammie is spoilt (:
• the inflamation on my toe BURSTED. & i happily peeled the skin off layer after layer without having the guilt of iskandar looking over my shoulders & scrutinising me. GRINS.
• hot cocoa is making me happy.
• i love buying stationaries. [or is it with an E instead?]

i feel so fucking fucked up.
fuck off lah kelly.
you've brought more sorrows than joy to my life.
ive never been so mad at you in my entire life before.
:(
i dont know why i deleted off all his photos from my friendster.
i just feel sad.
:(
sigh.
kelly's sucha bitch.
i quit clubbing like eons ago cos it brings no benefit to me.
why are u so fricking annoyed that i quit clubbing?!
its none of your god-damned business girl.
& ever since ive quitted, i did not even smell the entrance of any clubs.
& ive no regret.
do i make myself clear?
cant i just erase those sins that ive done?!
you're in no position to torment me of my decision.
so fuck off bitch.
& u still havent sms my boyfriend.
urgh.

i dont know what happened.
but it happened.

i forgot to thank Alvin, my lovely dance partner, for PROTECTING me (:
touched.
& also you.
ure always keeping an eye on me.








why must it be now.
i miss my girlfriends.
MINE.
those 4 sitting infront of me when we were in PU1.
i love you girls alot.
u girls were the first people i was accustomed to.
made me feel homely.
but why do i feel the tension now.
eventho its only us.
its only us.
i love you girls so much that i cry when i think of how much we changed.
how much things & situations & the environment
forced us to change drastically.
for over a period of one year only.
fad got transfered to another cls.
& we're like drifting apart.
i feel so sad.
i just need all of us to get back together.
you girls mean alot to me...

i seriously think i cried more than enough for this year.
my tears dont taste salty anymore.
i can barely count how many times i cried.
sometimes, it made me feel like a weakling & a coward
who resorts to crying to thrust her problems out.
but i cant help that im so emotional.
i cry when i see people in pain.
i cry when another person scold another.
i cry when im sad.
i cry whenever i feel like crying.
i cry when im so happy.
i cry when im parting.
i cry when i see others cry.
i cry at everything, anyone, anything, everywhere, anywhere
i feel useless that i cant help us all.

an eyeopener.
i got scared shitless tho.
i felt so constricted in that enclosed area.
nevertheless, i gained ample knowledge & experience.
thanks Hidayah.
for making this a succes (:
love you lots.
& ive got a new chinese name!
Fong Jun Li.
i dont knw the meaning tho.
this cute aunty asked for my name & im like, my name's JULIE.
& she;s like, oooooh FONG JUN LI!!
-__-""
anything goes.
& i love the singing Aunty as well as Kanthan's rugged dance partner.
& the touching song a particular lady sang to us.
she cried.
touched.
touched.

2.4km was oke.
i din really bother to open up my pace.
so i clocked in 14.03 mins.
expected.
the weather was shitty to begin with anyway.
after that, me, fad, rose, agnes, rachel, hidayah & raudah went to swim!
like, we're having skl & we skipped awhile to swim aft our run.
total AAAAAAAHHH-ness.
the rest is censored due to readers' discretion.
cabbed back to skl.
which costs us only $3!
cost efficient.
malay was nothing but pyramid.
& i found out that my malay din suck at all.
i just hafta start speaking malay.
that's all.
mgt was oke.
then..
of to ttc.
isk was sworn in at the official President for the 3rd students' council.
my heart was thumping mad pls.
i felt so nervous for him
but he made me so proud i nearly teared!!

Mrs Heng drove us back.
initially the venue was FULLERTON HOTEL.
nevermind the venue.
mind the CAR!
she sold off her old Merc & bought a new Merc.
like so cool pls.
everything is automated & digital with LCD everywhere.
so comfy, spacious & luxurious.
& of course, who's Mrs Heng without superb advices about BGR.
i totally love her.
right girls.
we all love her.
& she still insisted on the Jalan Kayu Roti Prata treat for us.
since last year.
can u believe it?
she still rmbrs.

Mr Scandal smsed me 2 days ago.
& i just found his sms AMUSING.
seriously.

Mr Scandal smsed me 2 days ago.
& i just found his sms AMUSING.
seriously.

ah wells.
trg went well i guess.
-shrugs-
i lost my mood.
2.4km tmr.
im craving for Macky's hotcakes with LOTSA magarine & maple syrup.
-smacks lips-
i cant wait to have a dip with the girls tmr (:
thn it'd be the SC investiture ot ttc.
darls will be swearing in as the official President of the SC.
so proud of him (:
-beams-
but Coach spoilt my plans for tmr lah.
there'll be trg again tmr.
he'll be showing Sweden vs Australia's game to us.
after that trg.
sigh.
TIRING!!

I FELT SO FUCKING MUCH BETTER!!!
owes it all to darls.
he made me smile.
after days of horrid mood..
he finally made me feel silly & made me smile for good (:
i love you lah.
seriously.

today's much more horrible thn ytd.
just whn i thought i'd be alright.
mentally unstable.
for fuck's sake.
why am i so depressed.

i still feel shitty.
& i havent eaten since morning.
what's happening to me...
i think i just want to be alone for now.

i woke up feeling so shitty.
yesterday was really phyisically strenuous.
my thighs are aching & i pulled my right hemstring.
hurts so much omg.
i cant walk properly.
urgh nvm.
i feel so disturbed.
i cant sleep the whole nite.
i only got to bed ard 5am.
i was enveloped in paranoia the whole night.
went home with fad after fb & darls fetched me
we took the same bus.
the bus driver was like driving a roller coaster lah.
oh gosh.
so much blood ytd.
i was badly shaken abt what happened ytd
floorballers should know & i dont wanna repeat myself over & over again
i feel like a broken record player.
i cried so much ytd.
i dont knw why
im scared for him & all..
like, so kesian.
& i blamed myself entirely for kpo-ing.
i was badly shaken that i did VERY badly for my drills.
& coach was screaming at me.
i din even hear him.
i was such in a blur
my legs are wobbly...
but i purposely work my mind out to concentrate in trg
& i knw i did HORRIBLY for it
considering that ytd was the last day of selection for A divs.
confirmed that i wouldnt even qualify for it.
to make matters worse, hurt myself during game
i din realise i was bleeding until i saw the blood stains on my shirt.
on a much lighter note,
i scored a goal on our last game.
a pathetic goal lah.
but im happy.
hee.

im definitely not going shopping with the girls
sorry for cancelling on you girls oke.
i really feel disturbed & utterly tired.
like both physically & mentally drained.
i really need to get my priorities straight.
studies comes first.

ps. sorry for crying ytd. i really din mean to be paranoid or sth. but i just want you to knw that i love you too much to even inflict pain on you. its just that i thought too far that what if i became crazy & did the same thing to you. fate is not subjective. fate is fate. i dont knw what will happen to me nor you but i want to keep you away from harm.

my body felt too lethargic.
im feeling so tardy.
had 2.4km run for PE.
wasnt really in the mood to run lah.
but i clocked in 13.04mins.
was kinda shocked.
the house AGM was a total waste of time.
go all the way to toh tuck just to air our armpits for some ppl.
but me & rose saw F&N.
kanthan was really noisy.
but fun.
cos bartley ppl felt kinda discriminated.
SIT ON THE FLOOR LOR.
& smell their socks.
annoying.
& i find my blog a bore.
oke. off to slumberland...

i love weds.
so slack.
anyhoos, we've got free period every wk due to accnting clashes.
yes!
got back mly paper.
i got a lousy B3.
but thankful lah, i passed (:
nothing happened much today. YET.
there's house AGM later at tohtuck.
boring stuffs.
_______________
fb ytd was great.
but the weather was GREAT-er
haha. raining so heavily.
me, fad & rose was standing under the big fat raindrops.
so cooling.
we were drenched even before trg starts.
coach was a lil cranky today.
i can count how many times he smiled.
haiyo.
& A divs selection started ytd.
& i did SO HORRIBLE for the drills.
totally grossed me out.
so annoying lah.
urghhhh
made new friends from the pu1s.
mainly its this rabak guy lah. Gabriel.
lol.
he just look retarded.
:P
anyways, games was fun like normal (:
& bobby is still disturbing me.
stupid boy.
my line was my babes!!! Fad & Rose.
yeys.
Fad scored a goal on Zul
so sweeeeet.
heehhhh..
& i really reaaaaallly like the Pu1 girl goalie. SO DARN CUTE!
she looks abit like Suriyani, only that her name is Suhaila.
COINCIDENCE?! not.
ahaha.
_______________
oooooooooohhh
i wanna go for the CIP overseas trip SO BADLY.
to cambodia please.
teach little kids how to read & paint.
SO CUTE.
but 8 days without electricity & i must bathe by collecting water from the well.
HOW TO LIVE?!??!?!
oh gosh.
but it'll be a great experience for me.
too much spoiling alr.


oke i wanna eat my papaya.

ARGHHH.
so far i have no A level passes.
i feel so demotivated lah.
the only achievement i had was that i got TOP IN GP!!!
i even beat Kanthan!!
-beams-
unfortunately, its for this paper only.
but i was really shocked lah.
i din expect to do well at all.
but overall class position for GP is 2nd.
HOORAH.
im so so happy already.
but GP is an AO sub lah.
so makes no difference actually.
sigh.
i really deserved my maths marks lah
it's like worse than shit please.
ive got a flat F9 for it
serve me right for knowing nuts about year2's work.
i learnt yr1's work.
so blur.
but lucky for me its like only MathsC not FMaths or sth.
& i dont think i'll have any A lvl passes for my Business & Econs.
haiz.
im really disappointed in my maths marks
i dont even bother to find any marks lah.
makes no difference.
i'll still fail.
my only chance to get an A lvl pass & i burnt it bad.
urgh.
_______________
nevermind abt that.
what's done is done.
i can do nothing about it.
_______________
went to the optics with darls aft skl.
it was raining so heavily lah.
& we got kinda drenched walking in the rain
checked my eyes.
ive got PERFECT EYESIGHT.
yeys.
& we girls alr planned in gg out this saturday to shop (:
girls outing!!! finally!!

i was being April Fooled so many times.
no, make that
countless of times lah.
but the worst was from ROSMAINY!!
-grunts-
gave me a major heart attack man. i was like shrieking please.
in public.
major embarrassment.
hah.
anws, went to the gym with darls.
work out on abs.
did a lil upper bod strength & all.
din get to train on cardio tho.
cos SOME PEOPLE like to hog on the machine.
selfish.
& he knew a little bit more about me.
im sorry to let you learn of it yourself.
sigh.
headed to NLB after that.
i just felt like reading.
i felt uncomfy the whole day.
but i cant simply stay like that forever.
haiyo.
i saw that bitch all over her new guy i guess.
yucks.
she saw me & smiled but i pretended to see thru her.
yucks yucks.

perfection is simplicity.
i love you (: